And then there were four …

Yes, it is true. Football is coming home! And just like when the original song came out in 1996, it was not the supposed main message that England were going to win a trophy after 30 years of hurt (now 55) but the actual fact that a major football tournament was on British soil for the first time since 1966. So again, yes, football is coming home, for the semi-finals, and maybe even the final if the VIPs toe the line.

After a very luke warm start in the first two rounds of games, things have started to warm up and there have been some good matches. Even England have decided to join in the scoring, although there was still too much back and square passing in the first half after we sat back following the early goal. Even our striker captain has found his boots. He has now netted thrice. Are we in for a Kane mutiny now?

Maybe not, I fear the race for the Golden Boot is lost. This is how it stands at the moment.

Owen Goal – 11

Cristiano Ronaldo – 5 (OUT)

Patrik Schick – 5 (OUT)

Karim Benzma – 4 (OUT)

Emil Forsberg – 4 (OUT)

Romelu Lukaku – 4 (OUT)

Kaspar Dolberg – 3

Raheem Sterling – 3

Harry Kane – 3

Owen is out on his own and will never be caught at his most prolific tournament ever, but it is not out of the question for someone to nick second spot. Everyone has heard of Sterling Silver, right?

On to Wednesday then. Will this be a humdinger of a match or a damp squib? It is more than likely that the neutrals will be supporting Denmark after what happened to Christian Eriksen and who can blame them? I was going to support the Danes too after England were out.

Then if we get through that there is Spain or Italy. What a great game Italy and England would be. Italy have let in just two goals in five games and England none. Looks like that would be a nailed on 0-0 and decided on penalties, which would be bad for us because we are not the pasta masters at this, as everyone knows.

What do the omens say though? I have no idea because I am not psychic but let’s see what we can do with a little word play. Spain were through first, then Italy, then Denmark and finally England. S-I-D-E which is totally in sync with a football competition. We can also make IDES and DIES. The side dies on the ides maybe? Well, ‘ides’ is a Roman day which fell in the middle of a month – the most famous being the Ides of March (15th) when Julius Caesar was assasinated. It could also fall on the 13th of a month but not as far as we know the 11th so no Ides of July. Probably nothing in this then. Incidentally the only word that can be made with England first is EIDS and ‘eid’ is a Muslim religious festival.

Only one week left – was that a cheer I could hear from all the football haters – and then we will know who is left standing. After the Scotland game no one expected it to be us. They could still be right about that. Or can we Donald 1990, 1996 and 2018 – and I don’t mean duck? Who would deign to say?